Today is the first day of school. In the past couple of weeks leading up to today, my kids have expressed different fears of starting the new school year. My oldest son especially has always battled anxiety and we are often trying to help him stay calm and not worry so much about what might happen. As I was talking to him the other night I mentioned that our fears are usually much, much worse than whatever we actually face. I was also reminded of an experience that I went through last year.
For the previous 10 years, I worked for a candy company. From a business standpoint, I never felt like we were on solid ground. We went through three different owners and as a company, we were always struggling financially. But the last year was the worst. The last company that bought us never could get financing together, so we never knew paycheck to paycheck if that would be our last. I worried like I never worried before. I looked for a new job, I looked into going back to school, I looked into starting my own business, and I was living in constant fear that I wouldn't have the financial means to support my family. Finally, the day came that they shut the doors and went into bankruptcy.
I still had fear, but it was a different kind of fear. Instead of a paralyzing wait and see kind of fear, it was a fear that motivated me into action. I started contacting everyone I knew to tell them of my situation. I applied for unemployment. I took on as many freelance jobs as I could get. I applied for every job that I was even remotely qualified for. It was a hard 5 weeks of unemployment full of ups and downs. But there was also a certain sense of relief. I no longer had to live in fear of losing my job. I could just focus all my energy into finding a new one. And I did.
I was excited to come home from work today and hear all about the first day of school. I was also relieved that my kid's biggest fears were not their reality. My daughter's 2nd grade Man Teacher was so super nice. My son's 4th grade class was quiet and well behaved. And this dad was reminded that our fears really are many times worse than reality.